This job is a repeat of the last job, only it pays about half. This is a temp job instead of a contractor job, but what’s the real difference. Temp jobs pay shitty(er), that’s one difference. But really, both these jobs have been shitty. And who cares. These people are running their whole company on excel vba macros. They have all these medical practices dropping excel workbooks full of delinquent accounts onto ftp sites for them. They process these workbooks manually for a while, until they document all the manual steps, and then they have a dude (the owners’ son) creating vba macros. He puts big smiley faces on them (I swear to God, he does that — jpegs of bright yellow round smiley faces) – and once this macro creation thing is done, they go ahead and call the process ‘automated.’ Things often go wrong. I already made a huge error (I only really saw the process once – in a blaze of mouse-clicks with exactly zero time to scribble any notes – and zero sympathy for questions). Two doctor offices had nearly the exact same name (same owners, just different set of services at each), and I sent one twin’s data at the other twin’s invoicing system. Loud angry calls resulted . . . on speaker phones up and down the hall – they rattled window panes all afternoon, and I started to feel very sick and sour about the whole thing. I mean, it’s not just that it’s a shitty job. It’s a shitty company doing a shitty thing. Let’s find these 78-year-old cancer patients, let’s get all their data into one place – and let’s just ruin them financially. Worse than they already are. Make it so they gotta eat dog food. Get their deadbeat asses into the Lexus Nexus. Get their bill to collections as soon as possible – as soon as the smiling automated excel workbooks can do it.
With the owner and her son, every day you hear about how they’ve ‘worked 48 hours straight’ . . . which is so noble and admirable of them. Their business is growing like crazy. They can’t keep up with the business. They keep up with the getting paid though. Today as I walked to the bathroom I had a fantasy about spinning off a nonprofit foundation where folks with delinquent accounts get relief somehow (government grants?). .. but that was just one of my many stupid fantasy pipe-dreams I’ll never follow up on.
I just woke up here at 3:30 am. The eyelids just cracked open. The fear glands pumped alarm juice out during an angry dream, and blog therapy seemed like the only remedy. Blog therapy and ambient music. Ambient music: because the beat is just too butter right now.
What do I do for work now? Am I getting dumber? I wasn’t working with much brain power to begin with. I get distracted and I just lose track. I miss things. I’m always sleep deprived and spaced out and hating it where ever I am. All I feel like doing right now is complaining. In January I turned down an I.T. job that would have been a natural fit for me given my prior job – I would have been supporting the same system I was on before . . .. but I turned it down because I was trying to do that other shitty job . . .and I had visions of 100 hour work weeks and aggressive managers screaming at me on Easter morning . . . and so on . . . given the way they raked me in the interviews . . . one of their questions: “How will you handle it when everybody is pointing the finger at you, even though you know it wasn’t your fault? Because this situation WILL come up.”
“It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong,” I said, “The project must move on.” They liked that answer I guess.
“Sometimes you just get chunks taken out of your butt. It just happens.” They laughed. It’s true.
Tuesday the roads were super dangerous because of a crazy wintery mix…sleet, freezing rain, snow and persistent low temperatures below freezing. North Carolina is not really prepared for this. So most people stayed off the roads. I sat at home all day and downloaded stuff for Python language: command line, IDLE etc and an environment called PyCharm. I watched videos and read stuff about it all day…ran stupid little scripts.
Wednesday morning a guy tailgated me all the way up the last stretch of road up into our office complex…he was gesticulating wildly as I looked in my mirror, I wasn’t driving fast enough for him, and he was only three or four feet off my ass while we were driving over a thick coat of ice. We got to the parking lot and I got out of my car and I screamed at him…called him a twat. He mostly ignored me and walked into the building.