what to do what to do what to do

Should I give my mind and time over to the technology gods? …constantly feeding the insatiable appetite for more know-how, more technology, more immersion in emerging technology, making myself a better information worker…what about this writer impulse that WILL NOT DIE…it surfaces often, wanting me to write something anything…and about this writer urge…the technique, actually, the content: how and what to write? All the fiction’s been written, maybe, all the poetry has been done, probably, the only thing unique that I can bring is my own story – and of course – even it is not all that unique…and then there’s my laziness…that is a story not worth telling….or maybe not, maybe it’s worth telling…I am existing in a beautiful existence, it is beautiful if I decide it’s beautiful: because I decide those things. For myself, I define it. Or all stories are worthless…poisonous…they cripple you…

I meet so many people who are ABOUT SOMETHING. They are super Nerds! They are Aspiring Artitsts. They are This and That. I’m nothing, maybe, and that’s Beautiful, maybe. I have a little bit of this and a little bit of that that I do. And that’s okay maybe. 

I need paychecks. I worry that they won’t pay me. I worry that the money will run out and I’ll have to live in my car. There are people who wouldn’t want to let it get to that. But I would do it anyway, live in a Corolla. 

What’s worth telling right now? What is worth roughing out and then adding literary devices? Nothing. There’s just the timeline of experiences occurring before my awareness. Well, what out of this timeline is worth telling? How do I tell it? Pick certain snapshots of my experience and present them in such a way that it…grabs ya. I guess. I could present my experiences in the most basic, boring and plane way and let you do the creative process yourself. Be a creative reader man! Start with this: I’m working from home right now. Virtual private network. I am starting a new part-time work from home deal. I want to set myself up in the new home in the new metro area very soon. I would like to start out waaaay in the country so that I can take long walks in the woods and not hear internal combustion engines or bass stereo sounds. I would like to have a good data connection. I would like to not have bugs or other pests. I would like to be safe. I would like for my girlfriend to be safe. I don’t want her to be bored. I would like to jump on my bicycle and ride it down a trail. I would like to live in the country a while. A short while. Then, I’d like to move into an urban area. I would like to be walking distance to a cool local bar, a museum, a library, a trail. I would like to volunteer in the new place. I would like to join writer groups. I would like to learn a certain amount of technology stuff – enough to get by in the endless escalation. Soon though, I’d like to not have to worry so much about technology because it can really take up all your time.


About HappyApathy

It eels what it eels.
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