I just found out that my nephew will have to serve three years in prison. It was a ten year sentence, but seven years were suspended. He was caught with 83 caps of heroin. The SWAT team kicked in the door of the house where he was ‘living.’ Really, he just ‘worked’ there. He worked there and slept on a couch. A drug house. In a shitty neighborhood. My sister, his mom, lives in the same crummy neighborhood. She used to live on that same street. That is a total drug street. Cars would pull up to the curb in front of a house. A guy on the porch would run down to the car and reach in. The car would then drive away. This went on all evening and all night.

The fucked up thing is this kid watched his uncle, my brother, die from a heroin overdose. He was there in the hospital when the doctors finally made their final effort with my brother. They shooed us all out of the room because his blood pressure had gotten so low and stayed so low for so long – and then it got lower – so they wanted to try something, something ‘drastic.’ I guess they wanted to open his chest and try to get his heart working right again somehow or something like that.

My nephew saw this. My other nephew saw this too – but he actually watched as his dad (my brother) collapsed and stopped breathing – he actually made the 911 call. This nephew – is currently in jail awaiting trial for crystal meth and grand theft. The son of the dude (my brother) who died from a drug overdose.

So these two nephews of mine…I don’t know what to do or say. This curse that’s on my family…I don’t know what to say.

I am sure there are other families that have had even more fucked up shit happen, but goddam.

I could have gotten into a lot of trouble with some of the stuff I have done, but I’ve been lucky. I never got caught – I never went all the way. I did take it to some of the next levels, but I just never got caught or never went to far. Not yet. I guess there’s always a chance that I’ll fuck my life up really bad somehow.

There’s a good chance that I will not fuck my life up too though. Some of the people in my family are managing to do pretty okay and live ‘somewhat productive’ lives or…at least stay out of jail and stay out of hospitals mostly and have contact with other human beings – some of the contact being on a regular basis. There are certain people out there who can put up with us enough to talk to us more than once.

What is the true measure of a ‘productive life’ anyway?

There’s more I could say but who gives a shit. 

I write about mostly negative or scary or scandalous stuff on this blog, because I have a different blog where I write about positive stuff. People who used to follow that blog have stopped following it because it’s only positive bullshit now. But, some new people have started following that blog – positive people. 

I have a double life in blogging. Zillions of people do. Zillions of people have blogging double lives, triple lives, quadruple lives, susquazipple lives. and so on and etc.


About HappyApathy

It eels what it eels.
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One Response to

  1. MrJohnson says:

    Shit. That’s a shitty situation for your nephews.

    A lot of people are walking on the fence and which side they fall on just depends on which way the wind is blowing a little harder that day. I was walking on the fence for a long time. Like you, I still think there is a chance that I will mess up my life but also a good chance that I won’t.

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