Several intense text conversations going on and one very intense actual face to face conversation. (And then there’s last night…great nephew with 105 degree temperature) I’m reeling. The face to face conversation was with a guy from my little local bar I go to…his sister died, and he’s flying to Houston in the morning for the funeral. This guy has been a strange figure in my experience lately. He seems like a guy’s guy…totally knows what all the sports scores are and what all the football teams are doing and he lives the whole sporty guy thing. But a few times, I’ve talked to him, and he seems super enlightened or something. Or. No. He is one of those who has read all the spiritual shit, studied all the spiritual shit…and dismissed much of it…but settled in a core of reality that is really hard to dispute, and it’s admirable. His whole take on the death of his sister…well…first, i’ll say what I said to him, my awkward thing: I said that when my brother died, a lot of people told me about people close to them who had died – as a way of condolence – as a way relating to me and saying, “Hey, I can relate”…but instead, it added to my general sadness, because I was now sad, not only about the loss of my brother, but for this person’s loss – this person who is trying to relate by relaying to me the story of the loss they’ve experienced – I am now sad for them too. So I told him this: that this happened. As a way of….saying something. Awkward. But he looked passed all of what I was saying….he looked passed all of it…all of the sadness, and he said, regarding the death of his sister (who apparently died the same way my brother died)…he said: He said he was going to go and celebrate her life and be a jackass like he always is and — not be sad and try to have everybody in the family not be sad and be congratulatory…because she is off on the next phase, the next thing.
Tags911 anal anger antisocial anxiety apartments art awake awareness Beck beer billiards blog blogging blogs boobs boredom Buddhaism Buddhism bullshit butts campers career cellular Chat clarity communication complaints compromise consolation contractor Corolla country living coworkers creative nonfiction creative writing crime crystal meth culture cycles Dalai Lama dance dancing danger data dating death demeanor depression despair dirty secrets discipline divorce dooce drama dreams drinking drugs Eckart Tolle Eckhart Tolle emergency employment essay family family guilt fashion fear fellowship freedom friends friendship future gossip guilt happiness health healthcare heroin humor i.t. identity incarceration infidelity information technology insanity insomnia insult insurance interpersonal interview introvert iq isolation jail job jobs knowledge labels labor law leasing life life sucks lists loner love lsd madness marriage medicaid meditation mellow memories memory mental health military mindful mindfulness mindless mobile homes mom mortality mourning moving music negativity neighbor nervous no-thought nobody no healthcare nonduality now overthinking paranoia past peace personal positivity possibility poverty presence present prison procrastination psychology questionnaire Relationships relocation Rescuing Patty Hearst rural sanity scared schizophrenia seeing self-help sex shut-in sleep social social media social skills sociopath spirit spirituality stillness storage stories stress suffering surveys t-sql Talker technology temp thinking Thoughts tobacco traffic True Crime tumblr Twitter type a unemployed unemployment unity urban decay Virginia Holman walk walking Walmart wedding wedding planner weiners whatever who cares work work from home workplace writing