Yesterday was not as hectic as the days before. I spent the day setting up an event in our system…which is not supposed to be my job…but the other few people who know how to do it refuse to do it because it’s not ‘their’ event…and nobody else knows how or has access…and the guy I’m setting it up for: I’m kind of pissed at…he had a data request in, and he accused me of being ‘late’ with it…and he escalated his complaint waaaay too high…and it came back and bit him hard…because his request – the requirements he gave – were fuckin stupid. Even if they give jacked up requirements, though, you have to bring data, some data, any data…and if you don’t come correct with the data, and they spot some ‘error’ (something they think is an error), they love to pounce on it and point it out and send emails cc’ing everybody in the company and your mama too…they feel that they have to ‘get even’ …because maybe I or somebody else on my team has previously pointed out some goofball move or comment they made in the past. You’re not trying to make anybody look stupid or feel bad, you’re just trying to figure out what caused a problem and solve it and prevent it by pointing out what somebody did wrong…when they set something up or made some decision. So I pull this data (which is hard to do…it’s not just knowing the code, it’s also knowing the business rules and practices…knowing the data) …and/but who the hell knows what they do with the data once they get it. They all think that they’re analysts. But they probably just get the spreadsheet of data and they open it and they jerk off to it. But…I don’t know…I guess they make important decisions based on this data.

So-but-now, it isn’t about PULLING the right data…it’s about AUTOMATING the pull AND automating THE PUSH. Agents and automated jobs wake up and pull down data and send it at other apps – and wake them up and feed them…all so that more data can go in more directions and be seen by more people (and jerked off to). My chief described how he envisioned my future one time: Traffic Cop. My director, when he wrote my job title, he just wrote ‘data.’ That’s what I tell people when they ask me what I do. I just say “Data.”

After work my boss wanted to play me in some pool. I whipped her pretty good the last time, but she won some this time. This lady I’m dating mentioned that maybe my boss had a problem at home…why my boss wanted to hang out with me and drink beer and play pool. I thought that my boss just wanted to play pool and drink beer. I know for a fact she likes to drink beer. And her pool game definitely improves quickly with each outing. But, who knows. I thought about it, and my boss’s husband does refuse to do stuff he don’t feel like doing. My boss got theater tickets and/but her husband was like aw, I ain’t going…but who knows. I definitely do not want to have sex with my boss. She does not want to have sex with me either. Drinkin with her is just done because it makes things better between us at work…where we rarely talk to each other – but when we do – she usually rolls her eyes because I’m often saying dumb stuff…stuff that TO HER is dumb…because she’s worked there thirty years and she’s been doing data for twenty years I think. And anyway her husband is a hard dude…ex construction worker who I heard a crazy crazy thing about but am not sure whether true…having to do with some sort of gang shit or some shit. Probably bullshit but who the hell knows.


About HappyApathy

It eels what it eels.
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