I am continuing with my pattern a bit, I guess. But I am aware of it, and I am trying to steer away from it. This woman I’m dating, I started telling her stuff like:
“I’m not trying to date anybody else.”
“I just want you to know that…..blah blah”
“I think that this thing with you…it’s clicking…it seems like a fit….there are sparks shooting out of it…?….”
I don’t know. I am probably running my mouth too much with her. …or, I should be running my mouth about about other stuff. She seems to have no trouble finding subjects to talk about. She talks and talks and talks. And I like it. But I’m not always a huge talker. Will she get bored with me?
I’m lonely. That’s the main thing that I know. I just want to wake up next to somebody…like the old days. I want to hear somebody’s problems. I want to tell somebody my problems. These are probably dumb things to want.
Another dumb thing I did: we were laying there. We had just had sex. I never reached the moment of truth, right, I don’t know why. I probably jerk off too much. Anyway, we’re laying there, and I got up on my knees, and I displayed ‘it’ in all its reached potential and I asked, “Is it enough for you?” …and then the conversation got weird and confusing….
Will my posts about sex get flagged or deleted or black listed or blocked. I am brandnew to wordpress. Should I put disclaimers? I should have figured this out up front I guess. I’ve decided to learn as I go, but to not impeded the flow of writing. That’s the important thing: to write stuff….to write all stuff…to write all the other stuff I would never ever write on my longterm blog. I am cheating on my longterm blog. It feels dirty.